Sortafunnylady

My quirky views on life, love and parenthood!

Archive for the tag “opinion”

Improve My Lifestyle


I thought I was doing the smart thing by working to get a desk job. Unfortunately my rear does not agree. Have you ever heard of the secretary spread? Well, I’ve got it and it’s not pretty. My doctor has informed me that I live a sedentary lifestyle. What’s that you might say? Well, there are lots of definitions out there but the main one is that I sit too much and I the things I like to do don’t require much movement.

My “sitting disease” has been linked to diabetes, heart disease, and premature death. So I am working on being more active. Now I’m not talking about running a marathon or scaling a mountain but goals are always a good thing. I am going to start with baby steps and work to build up my stamina.

Here are a few suggestions I am working on that I wanted to share:

Get NEAT (thermogenesis): Things that I can do in my seat at work. 10 minutes an hour this can include stretching, turning, and bending. The idea behind this activities is to raise your core temp and to burn calories.

Take Breaks: We all have obligations and activities that monopolize our time. However, taking a break every hour or so and getting up and moving around can be helpful.  Walking around or stretching for a few minutes can help re-energize the body.

If she can do it I can!

TV Watchers: I still enjoy watching TV but instead of just sitting on the couch I try to add time to stretch, use my stationary bike, do resistance exercises, and alternate with other activities that keep my body moving.

Parking: When I go to a store I park farther away. Ever little bit counts.

Going Up: It may take longer but, if you are able use the stairs rather than the elevator when you are in your doctors offices and other buildings you are doing errands in.

Communication: When at work many tend to use email, voice-mail, im, and so many other forms of communication that are preferred for our busy lives. Unfortunately we lose face to face human interaction and many of us just sit on our butts. So, the next time you need to talk to a colleague take a minute and go and talk to them. You get up, you move your body, and you get the opportunity to interact with someone else. The moments add up and make a difference.

Date Night: My husband and I like to go out for date night; however, most of the time it is going out to eat and then coming home and watching a movie or crashing. So we are working on mixing it up. Finding things that are less about food and more about just spending time together and still being active. Some things to try…go to a museum, a park, take a hike, go for a bike ride, or go dancing,  find activities in the community. Many times there is food but you’re not just sitting. Remember date night is about spending quality time with your partner and having fun.

Vacation: What do you like to do on vacation? Go camping, relax on a beach somewhere, or go to a spa? Well, for my family we enjoy camping to which can be pretty active. Other things we like to do is visit family, or go to the big city to see the sights. With a family fun and education is a big part of the draw for us. Do research ahead of time and you can find a ton of things to do no matter where you are headed. By the time your vacation is over you may need to go home just to rest! Now that’s the sign of a great vacation!

You can Do it!

Swimming: I have always enjoyed swimming but, I have not had a membership anywhere for a while. The house we just moved into has a pool, so for the first time in my life I don’t have to go anywhere to go swimming. The pool has been a lot of work but I have so enjoyed getting to go in whenever I feel like it. It’s not huge but the kids and I have had  lots of fun. It gets me in the sun for some needed vitamin D and the water provides a fun workout. Just playing with the kids can wear me out, my favorite time is doing laps when it is quite and I can hear the wind blow and the bird chirp. Swimming is a great way to get my body moving and it has a much lower impact on my joints. So for chubby girls like myself swimming is much more doable than running is. If you can handle getting into a swimsuit then you can do amazing things! Swimming is great for increasing your stamina and improving your cardiovascular system. Look at your local gyms, and community centers many of them have water aerobics and other water activities you can get involved in. Try it and let me know what you think!

New Habits: No matter where I am I am working on making new habits. This may include getting up early to exercise before I go to work. Even doing household chores is not a bad way to start just to get you moving. Taking breaks at work is focused on moving around and not just grabbing something to eat and drink. Being more active is helping me to set a better example for my kids. When I get home we go for a bike ride. Well, they go for a bike ride and I keep up by going walking. It it another way I am getting out of the house and making strides. Increasing your movement and watching what you eat can make a big impact on your life.

I’m not looking to get skinny I just want to be comfortable in my own body and be healthy!

Plus God willing I am baby bound.

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Touchy Subjects


Premarital sex is a touchy subject. Especially when you are a Christian, a parent, a wife, and you deal with the youth. I know that many parents wholeheartedly believe in abstinence, I agree it is very important. Growing up in a Christian home it was taught that you waited until you got married before you had sex. Unfortunately, for many parents if sex is a touchy subject, your children will not come to you when they have questions. This lack of communication causes your children to go look for answers elsewhere, or not at all. Being naive is so dangerous for our kids and doesn’t solve any problems.

So, I have a few suggestions to the parents of teenagers, boys and girls alike. I know that my kids are not at that age yet but I have already been asked questions from teens.

 Get over Yourself

I think that parents hate talking about sex because it makes them uncomfortable. Get Over It! You are not going to do anyone any good if you can’t face the fact that your baby is growing up. This is part of being a parent and it is your job to be the go to person. This topic is not about you, but you need to be willing to answer your child’s questions. Take it slow but spell things out.

Be Honest

Please do not use the birds and the bees. You need to use actual body parts by their names such as a vagina or penis. This is not a Johnson or other crude words to describe your body. If you don’t know the answer be honest about that too. We all have horror stories about how our friends, family and even parents told us what sex was. Like “when you eat a watermelon seed it grows a baby in your tummy”. Whatever the story is make sure that it is not absurd. Your children don’t usually understand metaphors and will take you literally. So be careful what you say. If your child approaches you and says they have questions, you may need to take a few moments to compose yourself in what you are going to tell them. Don’t dismiss them or avoid the conversation, it needs to happen! And please don’t leave it to our school system to educate your kids on sex.

Fess up if You made Mistakes

We know we’re not saints! Most of us have made mistakes in one way or another. Don’t try to hide it, you will eventually be found out. When your children learn that you lied to them, then understand that your credibility is shot. So if you made a mistake that’s ok. You don’t have to go into detail; but, don’t think you are going to hide it from your kids. We all want to protect our children from making the same mistakes that we did. Understand that when you can face the fact that you made mistakes, then when your kids do it it’s not quite so hard to forgive them.

Answer questions using medical terminology

Again, use medical terminology that is easy to understand. One suggestion to parents is do your research ahead of time. There are many books and sites out there that can help you talk to your kids about sex.

Tactics

Don’t try to use fear or guilt to try to keep your kids from having sex. I think it is important to educate our kids. What is God’s purpose for sex? What is the importance of sex? What is the importance of finding the right person? What is love? Open communication is so important. Now, I know this is difficult. Our kids treat us like we know nothing and act like they are not listening. Even when they don’t act like they are listening they are. It is your job to educate and talk to them, even if you have to say it a 100 times.

Protection

How do we protect our kids? We arm them. We arm them with knowledge and with the skills to handle life situations. If we treat them like babies then we are setting them up for failure.  When you say the words “No matter what, you can talk to me” it is your actions not your words that will make that statement true. So when crap happens if you tend to get mad first and start yelling I will tell you that your child will not come to you when they really mess up. So be prepared and you may need to start working on your own issues before you deal with your children.

Dating

In each household the matter of dating is different. If you want them to wait I understand that; however, you might want to let your kids have some input. Talk about options such as group dates and having friends over at your house. Just because you tell them NO doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to like someone. If you don’t give them an opportunity to talk, without you judging then, you are just going to be left out of the loop. You are going to make keeping secrets a must. Now doesn’t that seem like a recipe for disaster?

Listen

I know that as parents we have strong feelings and ideas about lots of stuff. Make sure that before you start going off on your soap box, you pause. Listen to what your child has to say. I would recommend that you have a one on one conversation and not do this in public. I would also suggest that you not try to use humor to lighten the mood. Sometimes it can come off really bad. Give your child an opportunity to talk to you about whatever is on their mind and really listen. Each child is different so what worked on one will not necessarily work on the next. As we learned in school “you have two ears and one mouth, so you need to listen twice as hard as you talk”.

 Forgive

When they make mistakes forgive them, and yourself. Our children will make decisions even after we have given them all the tools. I am not saying that I condone premarital sex, but I do realize that everyone makes mistakes and no matter how hurt we are our child is responsible to God for their decisions. We don’t have to understand why but they are still our children and it is our job to love them.

Communicate

Above all, keep the communication alive and flowing between you and your children. Do not be so set in your ways that they can’t come to you. Educate your child not only about sex, pregnancy and STD’s but also about people. Many young people do not fully understand that others will take advantage of their need for approval and love. They do not understand that there are those out there who know all the right things to say just to get them into bed. This is not only for the girls out there but also our boys.  You have to pick your battles but it is so important that we keep arming our kids so they can make good decisions even when we are not there.

Now I know that there are those out there who will disagree with my statements and that is OK. I still look forward to you comments.

Internet Dating…Does it work?


Internet dating? Words that most Mothers hate to hear! At least that was my experience a few years ago. Now, things are changing…at least a little!

We as Americans are way to busy with work, friends, family and fun to even think about dating! Ever notice that from the time we get up in the morning we are running? It doesn’t matter if we are getting ready for work, or meeting friends, or have an excursion planned. The average 20-40 something is in a hurry. By the time we get home we are exhausted but still have chores,  so we do those then fall in bed around 11pm. So who has time to join a club, go to a mixer (what are those), or a bar, to find “the One”? Not many!  If you are one of those few it’s not necessarily a good thing. You may be the one that we don’t want to find lol! By the time many of us consider internet dating we feel rejected, desperate, doubtful, and uncertain.

Before you spend time and money on a dating site figure out what your purpose for dating is and what do you want out of dating? If you just want to check things out and get a feel for it start with a free site.  Click here to view the Top 10 sites!

Make a list of things you are looking for (longterm or short term relationship, friendship, bootycall, travelbuddy, etc.) You will want to get a picture that you can add to your profile on whatever site you use.  Also, there will be an About Me section. This is where you have to write something about yourself, Duh. What do you want to tell others about you? Be descriptive and creative that way you have stuff to talk about on the first date. As a friend of mine states “dating is all about salesmanship”. This is not the time to beat yourself up! What are the positives about yourself and why would someone want to date you. Most importantly BE HONEST!!! Many times internet dating fails when people describe who they want to be (or who you will like) not who they really are! That’s a problem!

Statistics show that 74% of us have tried online dating. So no matter what other people say there is a good chance they have tried it.

Now just like normal dating there are losers out there and people who will take advantage of you, so be careful. You may also have to weed through a lot of  toads before you find your prince charming. The nice thing about online dating is the fact that you don’t have to get dressed up, put makeup on, do your hair or even leave your couch. You can be in your pj’s at 2am at home surfing the site.

Now when I was dating I heard several horror stories. I wasn’t sure if they were just trying to protect or make me a nun? But do you want to hear a positive story? Well if you don’t just stop reading, but if you do I have one for you.

Almost six years ago I was single, had been divorced and not real keen on the man seen. I lived in a rural community by myself, but had moved home to take care of my father who had another heart operation. So in other words I didn’t have many prospects, I was getting older, and I figured I was going to be single for the rest of my life. Unfortunately being home so much I was also board. So what did I do? I joined Yahoo.com match site which is now Match.com. I didn’t know what to say about myself, i wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for but I took the plunge anyway.

Over the next month I went through hundreds of profiles (not all at once lol). I emailed several guys and even talked to  some, and went out on a few dates.  Over that time I also filled out a compatibility profile, the idea was that when I met someone I was compatible with it would let me know. Well, it was the end of the month and I didn’t have many days left on my subscription and I received a wink. It was to let me know someone was interested in my profile and had sent me an email. So I opened it, the email was sweet and cute.  Now, before I responded back I wanted to check the compatibility thingie. Oh no, it said we weren’t a match! Well I figured what the heck I would take a chance anyway! So I emailed him back! We started emailing each other over the next few weeks.  Since this wasn’t my first rodeo I grilled him. I figured I wasn’t playing games anymore and I wanted someone honest….. So what did I do? I sent him about 20 questions that were very difficult and straight forward. For example “Have you ever cheated on someone? If so why? Will you cheat again? Of course if you ask my husband he would say it was about 20 pages of grueling questions! But he answered every one!

Now I would say that our relationship is not typical, but it has always been honest. Our first date was July4th, he asked me to marry him on September 4th, and we were married November 4th.  So to say the least it was a whirlwind. For us it has worked. It has been difficult at times, what relationship isn’t, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. This November we will celebrate our 6th anniversary. I can honestly say I love him more today than I did then the day we got married! Some days I still feel like a newlywed!

Our Engagement Picture

I hope that this little story gave you hope. There is someone out there for you. Don’t give up, keep working on yourself and putting yourself out there.

If you would like more information leave me a comment. I would love to get your input about your internet dating. I look forward to getting your stories about your dating triumphs and failures.

The Two V’s


When you begin complaining to someone you may want to think first…

“Am I the Victim or did I Volunteer”?

Many times in life we get stuck in a situation, be it a ticket, or have a hang over, or am pregnant. Why is it that the first thing we do is complain? We feel sorry for ourselves. But ask yourself this…

Were you the one speeding?

Did you go out and drink too much?

Did you have unprotected sex (now I am talking willing not forced)?

We as people need to stop whining and take responsibility for our actions. Yeah you may have screwed up. Own it and move on. There will always be consequences to our actions. To be an adult it means

Your not a kids anymore!

Your not a kids anymore!

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

So once again before you complain are you a victim or volunteer?

Manners…Are they a dying art?


I understand that we live in a technology driven age; however, does that mean that Excuse me, Please, and Thank You have become null and void?

I think not. If anything they are more important! They can set you apart from others  too busy to say anything with their ear clued to their cell phone, talking to the air or texting. Some act as though it is us, the public, that has so rudely interrupted them and not the other way around.  We have to remember to not only live with friends and business contacts in the virtual world but also to live with the live versions, right in front of you.

So now that I am off my soap box about manners in the world let’s talk about manners with our kids and in our homes. Which translates to the manners we will use in public.

Do you have rules regarding manners in your home or do you leave that to our wonderful educational system like sex education? I know that my kids pick things up that I do not like such as dance moves, fashion advice, snotty noses, and lice. Do we really want to leave manners up to the outside world as well? So, it is our job as parents to set the standard, teach them and reward them for using their  manners.

Begin with picking out  few manners to focus on maybe please, thank you and excuse me. Or other items that irritate you to no end like putting the toilet seat down, shutting the bathroom door when you go to the bathroom or not picking your nose. Explain it to your kids, be an example to them, remind them, and reward them when they do use their manners!

My second step was setting the standard in my house and getting my husband on board as well. I have found that when I say Please and Thank You my kids pick up on it, it encourages them to use them as well. Before I enter their room I try to remember to  knock. These are little things that can demonstrate the importance of manners. This can also show your children how important they are to you. Manners are more likely to be used when you use them in your own daily life.  For example to all you Dad’s out there (Mom’s to) when you are in your sweatpants on a Saturday morning watching football and lazing around… Do you scratch your balls (ladies I know you don’t), or let one rip? If so do you even say excuse me or laugh and look for an atta boy?

If we are not being examples by using manners then we are instead demonstrating to our kids that manners are not important and how we treat each other is not important either. What kind of example are you? I know I fail but I pick myself backup and apologize and try again. Don’t forget to reward for manners used.

You don’t have to give them something like candy or a prize! Use positive reinforcement. Say “Good job son, I love hearing when you use good manners”. or “I’m impressed that you have started blowing your nose in the bathroom and not been picking it and wiping it on your clothes”.

I will say that manners like anything else takes time to ingrain on the brain. Don’t stop, have patience (I know that is difficult), and above all keep working on new manners and expand your arsenal of etiquette.

I would love to have you share what  your struggles, suggestions and questions are…

I look forward to reading your comments below.

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