My quirky views on life, love and parenthood!

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Look at those eyes

they tell the tale

it is not just what is said but what is done.

Trust is given, not taken

Through love and time relationships are built

Relationships are give and take

Patience and kindness keep the claws from coming out

Enjoy the loves and curdles along the way


What do we need in church….Grace

The past few weeks have been difficult for me. I felt that there had been an injustice done. Now of all places this was happening at church. Not just any church, but my church. I did not take this well!  On Sunday, in the crowd I put on the smile and was polite. I minded my P’s and Q’s just like my Mama taught me. Inside and in private I was screaming “This is NOT happening!”.

I have to admit and apologize that I was swept up in taking the injustice personally. I ranted, my face turned red, my blood pressure when up, my poor husband, mother and friend had to hear all about it. This is a perfect example of me making a MOUNTAIN out of a mole hill!

After the first week I thought I had talked through it and was ok. Then on Sunday a comment was made that through me into a tizzy!

On Wednesday we had a meeting to discuss concerns and to provide solutions. Before the meeting you would think I was preparing for battle. I prayed, I vented, I wrote notes on things I wanted to cover and I went in with a chip on my shoulder. Hopefully it was not to big that anyone would notice.  I arrived to a nice size group. I won’t go into details about the meeting but let me tell you. I didn’t have to yell, or get angry, and apparently we as adults came to some positive solutions. So I left feeling like I needed to eat a HUGE humble pie!

You know what I learned…is that I let Satan play me for the fool I was! I let my emotions control the situation and I relied way to heavily on anger! This has not happened in quite sometime. I thought I had moved on, but apparently I still have some lessons to learn.

One thing I have learned, yet again. The Church is made up of people. It doesn’t matter what church you go to they are all made up of people. Not saints but sinners! We all come with baggage and imperfections. I needed to be reminded that God has given me grace and I need to give it to those around me.


I read this blog and I thought it was very interesting. I must admit that my 10 year old son is on Facebook. One thing with Facebook is that we have rules and we make sure we have the password to his account. Since I share the kids with their biological mother it is nice to be able to communicate with him during the week when we do not have him.

One of the things I worry about with social networking more than bullying are sex offenders. All two often they know the right things to say to a kid to let them in. In our case you can not see information on our son’s page unless you are a friend. Before he friends anyone we talk about them and decide together if they can be added.

One nice thing about having your kids on face book is when you have families who don’t live close and it gives them the opportunity to talk and get to know each other.

the social plug-in

Did you see this headline about mega social network site, Facebook wanting to allow minors to create their own profiles on Facebook?

According to reports, the social network giant is thinking about letting kids create their own profiles by connecting their accounts to their parents’ account. This way, parents can “feel” as though they’re exercising that proverbial parental control over their kids’ online activities.

One word: dislike.

In my opinion, kids under the age of 16 should not be allowed on any social network. But listen, I’m not naive; I know there are plenty of underage kids on Facebook and Twitter because they lied about their age to join. Is this what it’s come to, kids lying to join social networks that could potentially put them at risk for online bullying? Who’s responsible for ensuring our kids are safe online: parents, the government, or are we leaving to Facebook to make…

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Top News Story: Stupid Mothers

This news story ticked me off! No only is this mother young, but apparently she is doing drugs and drinking. She is only 19! Where are her parents? Isn’t this a great example of not communicating very well with your child.

Mother drives off with baby on the roof

Thank God that the baby was OK. Thank God that the car seat did its job! Thank God for people who pay attention and the cops that did their jobs.

I am not saying that young parents are the problem. However, when you are young I know from experience that your emotions can be a major influence.

It is pretty apparent that this young woman is pretty self absorbed and should have thought twice before becoming a parent.

Food for thought: If a woman is going to become a mother maybe a parenting class should be taken. Young parents and most first time mothers are clueless about the responsibility that it takes to care for a child. Alcohol and drugs have no place in motherhood.

It is interesting to me that there are so many women out there that have no business becoming parents and yet have several. And yet there are so many couples out there that are unable to have children. Which seems fair? Neither. Unfortunately life is not fair, I have learned that as I have gotten older.

But to recap where does this young girl get off putting her child in danger that way?

I hope she gets the full measure of her punishment.

Doesn’t this look like the face of a responsible mother!

Internet Dating…Does it work?

Internet dating? Words that most Mothers hate to hear! At least that was my experience a few years ago. Now, things are changing…at least a little!

We as Americans are way to busy with work, friends, family and fun to even think about dating! Ever notice that from the time we get up in the morning we are running? It doesn’t matter if we are getting ready for work, or meeting friends, or have an excursion planned. The average 20-40 something is in a hurry. By the time we get home we are exhausted but still have chores,  so we do those then fall in bed around 11pm. So who has time to join a club, go to a mixer (what are those), or a bar, to find “the One”? Not many!  If you are one of those few it’s not necessarily a good thing. You may be the one that we don’t want to find lol! By the time many of us consider internet dating we feel rejected, desperate, doubtful, and uncertain.

Before you spend time and money on a dating site figure out what your purpose for dating is and what do you want out of dating? If you just want to check things out and get a feel for it start with a free site.  Click here to view the Top 10 sites!

Make a list of things you are looking for (longterm or short term relationship, friendship, bootycall, travelbuddy, etc.) You will want to get a picture that you can add to your profile on whatever site you use.  Also, there will be an About Me section. This is where you have to write something about yourself, Duh. What do you want to tell others about you? Be descriptive and creative that way you have stuff to talk about on the first date. As a friend of mine states “dating is all about salesmanship”. This is not the time to beat yourself up! What are the positives about yourself and why would someone want to date you. Most importantly BE HONEST!!! Many times internet dating fails when people describe who they want to be (or who you will like) not who they really are! That’s a problem!

Statistics show that 74% of us have tried online dating. So no matter what other people say there is a good chance they have tried it.

Now just like normal dating there are losers out there and people who will take advantage of you, so be careful. You may also have to weed through a lot of  toads before you find your prince charming. The nice thing about online dating is the fact that you don’t have to get dressed up, put makeup on, do your hair or even leave your couch. You can be in your pj’s at 2am at home surfing the site.

Now when I was dating I heard several horror stories. I wasn’t sure if they were just trying to protect or make me a nun? But do you want to hear a positive story? Well if you don’t just stop reading, but if you do I have one for you.

Almost six years ago I was single, had been divorced and not real keen on the man seen. I lived in a rural community by myself, but had moved home to take care of my father who had another heart operation. So in other words I didn’t have many prospects, I was getting older, and I figured I was going to be single for the rest of my life. Unfortunately being home so much I was also board. So what did I do? I joined match site which is now I didn’t know what to say about myself, i wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for but I took the plunge anyway.

Over the next month I went through hundreds of profiles (not all at once lol). I emailed several guys and even talked to  some, and went out on a few dates.  Over that time I also filled out a compatibility profile, the idea was that when I met someone I was compatible with it would let me know. Well, it was the end of the month and I didn’t have many days left on my subscription and I received a wink. It was to let me know someone was interested in my profile and had sent me an email. So I opened it, the email was sweet and cute.  Now, before I responded back I wanted to check the compatibility thingie. Oh no, it said we weren’t a match! Well I figured what the heck I would take a chance anyway! So I emailed him back! We started emailing each other over the next few weeks.  Since this wasn’t my first rodeo I grilled him. I figured I wasn’t playing games anymore and I wanted someone honest….. So what did I do? I sent him about 20 questions that were very difficult and straight forward. For example “Have you ever cheated on someone? If so why? Will you cheat again? Of course if you ask my husband he would say it was about 20 pages of grueling questions! But he answered every one!

Now I would say that our relationship is not typical, but it has always been honest. Our first date was July4th, he asked me to marry him on September 4th, and we were married November 4th.  So to say the least it was a whirlwind. For us it has worked. It has been difficult at times, what relationship isn’t, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. This November we will celebrate our 6th anniversary. I can honestly say I love him more today than I did then the day we got married! Some days I still feel like a newlywed!

Our Engagement Picture

I hope that this little story gave you hope. There is someone out there for you. Don’t give up, keep working on yourself and putting yourself out there.

If you would like more information leave me a comment. I would love to get your input about your internet dating. I look forward to getting your stories about your dating triumphs and failures.

A Moment In Time

This picture was taken many years ago. A snapshot in time! Two are now gone, two of the couples are no longer together and the youngest is now an adult.  Of the kids above there are more than 10 children between them.

Same family a few years later.

This is family, this is what happens as time goes by. For many years most of us did not even talk. There has been a rift between brother and sister. Division can happen so quickly and last for so long.

Recently, there has been a change. My Grandmother began to die a few months ago. Due to the situation a brother and sister began to reunite. Over many visits and many talks they have been able to see the changes in each other.  Many moments were spent reminiscing of their youth and family members that had been lost. It was wonderful to remember the good times!

Due to the passing of my Grandmother many of the family came together. We have grown up and grown older. Many of us now have families of our own. For another brief moment we came together. We all remembered the good times and had a chance to laugh as well as cry.

Over the last few weeks I have been pondering this situation. What caused the problem in the first place? Was it worth the impact it is has had on the family? No.

We have all admitted that we each share the blame. There is no point in going backwards! Instead, we are working on building our relationships today and for the future. Family is so important! Don’t squander it!

Those that have families often take it for granted that they will always be there. I am learning that this is not the case.  I know that although my Mom has forgiven and was ready to move on I still hung back. I was polite but nothing more. Through the passing of my Grandmother I had the opportunity to spend quality time with family I did not see for years. That was precious time. My entire family enjoyed it! We worked together, played together, and laughed together.

I am so looking forward to spending more time with them and continuing on the journey of reconciliation and forgiveness that is so important in building relationships.

For All Us “Fat” Girls

Get’s your attention doesn’t it! I have lived with body image issues most of my life. I am a big girl! There is no other way to put it.

I struggle with eating too much and not the right things. I also work at a job where I sit on my butt and don’t move enough. Plus when I get home I am mentally exhausted so the thought of doing something else makes me want to cry, then eat and after all that work go take a nap!

In the midst of all those things I have found a husband who loves me for me and not my size! But the thing I still struggle with on a daily basis is loving myself even though I am fat!

My husband sent me an article today “Ten Rules for Fat Girls“! First off I kind of wanted to punch him! But then I went to the link and started to read. I could relate to what she said and I began to actually read some more. Since I want you to look at the link and not just my blog I will only recap the list:

1. You are not obligated to be thin, healthy, or pretty.

2. Don’t talk s@*t about your body.

3. Don’t talk s@*t about other people’s bodies.

4. Wear clothes that fit.

5. Demand better treatment from healthcare professionals.

6. Find a way to move.

7. Stand up for yourself.

8. Deal with your fat.

9. There are worse things in the world than being fat.

10. Don’t expect to feel awesome about yourself every single day forever.

This blog has opened my eyes and made me see. It also made me giggle and say “Hell Ya”!

I will still continue to work on myself and part of that includes moving and eating better. The biggest aspect that will impact me is the mental aspect that I am an amazing person. That’s it! No but, even, what if’s, or should’s.

I strongly believe that most people are unhappy with their bodies in some way. Well, it is time to stop judging ourselves and others and start by liking ourselves first!

So to all my Fat Girls out there “Let’s Rock It”!

Surviving our Monthly Cycle

Do you ever notice that when it is about that time of the month we change? We start out as the nice, somewhat normal, loving, funny women who are the wives, girlfriends and mothers of those around the world. But as our time approaches each month we turn…. It can be difficult to describe, but imagine a Supervillan, with raging hormones, and can be crying one minute and tear you a new one the next.  We try to hide, we try to down play, but we have to eventually admit we are different from the nice women we try to portray.

We try to play cool! We medicate,meditate, exercise (if we can move) and drown our sorrows in a combination of sweet and salty. Cravings are not our friends during this time and many of us give in (myself included)! So why you are in bed with a heating blanket, and chocolate trying not to give in to the torture churning inside you I will give you a few secrets that I use….

Pain management: If you need medication for your pain use it. It is easier to function if you stay ahead of it than if you wait and try to tough it out. It doesn’t matter if you work outside of the home or if you are a “domestic engineer” we all have lives that go on even when we have pain. For those of you who are on our feet all day and still need the relief of a hot pack there are a few things you can try. Check your local drugstore and health section. There are often times hot packs which you can use and last for 8 to 10 hours.

Exercise: I know that working out is the last thing we want to think about. However, maintaining body movement can reduce your pain and can move along the process. Now I am not talking about trying to over do it. Listen to your body. If you need to take a day off it is ok, just work at exercising the next day.

Stay Hydrated: In general many of us do not drink enough water. We have incorporated caffeinated beverages, soda, and other sugary drinks.  These drinks can actually dehydrate you and make your cycle more uncomfortable. So if you have a beverage in hand try to make it water. Also, when you get in the habit of drinking more water your body will begin to crave it.

Get Sleep: When we are tired our emotions can take a bigger toll on us and we tend to make mountains out of mole hills. So be sure to get enough sleep! Make sure to take steps so that you can get enough rest. This may include going to bed earlier, and turning off the T.V.  You may need to read for a while before you can go to sleep or listen to soothing music to help you fall asleep. For me I have found that I need to wear my CPAP machine and that I am much more rested when I do.  If you are tired and cranky try not to make big decisions. Wait until morning when you head is clearer and you can make a logical decision and not one made solely from emotion.

Cravings: If you have one acknowledge it. But, try to take a small portion and not eat or drink the whole thing. Smaller, snack size portions throughout the day can be helpful. Also, if you want something sweet try dehydrated or fresh fruit to deal with the cravings. If it is a Cinnabon that you are aching for try the mini ones or cut it in quarters so you can have it over the next couple of days.  For some people No is an acceptable solution but not for everyone. Don’t limit yourself to just one thing, check out the types of foods that you like but see how you can make better choices. One way to do this is have a plan and have things prepared when your time comes. It can help when you are in need!

So to our loved ones that deal with us each month I thank you!

But remember the saying…

Freedom is Not Free

Memorial day is coming to an end and I am exhausted from spending time with my family. Throughout the day and again this evening I am thinking about the true meaning of Memorial Day. We are surrounded by so many who are serving our country today as well as veterans who have served and survived. Even more are the friends and family members of those that lost their lives for our country.

I know many, who to this day do not talk about their time served and the things that they have witnessed. They went to the military as young men and women. They came out changed, many for the better and some wounded in ways that we cannot see.  They have pushed their bodies through weather, pain and war. Their minds have been exposed to the bonds of brotherhood as well as the great sadness of loss. They have had to witness things beyond our comprehension. They have made enormous sacrifices so we can maintain our freedom!

Several years ago I went to Washington D.C. on vacation. To see where our four fathers stood, and to take in our nations treasures. There I  saw the Vietnam Memorial Wall which left me speechless. There are so many names. As you walk along and read some of the names you also see some of the items that have been left. These included letters and flowers along with other small items. I watched as others found names they knew. Some laid their hand over the name, others cried softly to say goodbye. Still others talked to a friend they greatly missed.

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As we continued our walk we ended up at the  Korean War Memorial which has the statement “Freedom is Not Free”. Now although this statement is on the Korean War Memorial, I believe that it is true for any war or military action we have entered. I have thought about that statement off and on over the years and even in my sheltered little corner of the world I would have to agree. Through the sacrifice of so many it is how we gained and have maintained our freedom.

We cannot take for granted the freedoms we enjoy!

Remember our soldiers who have served and who are serving today.

Lifestyle Changes for the Chubby

Well hello to all my exercise deprived friends. Oh, sorry I am probably just talking about me! Each year around new years I have all these grand plans to exercise and lose weight. I have tried a variety of things but, something always happens…I get busy! I somehow manage to find something else I would rather do! Even housework is better than sitting my chubby buns on top of that small uncomfortable stationary bike seat.  So here it is, the middle of May and life has gotten the best of me once again and I am heavier not lighter than I would like.

Unfortunately I am running out of excuses! My pants are tight, I feel uncomfortable and I know I just look absolutely stunning with my jello jiggler rolls lol. So I am working on a new plan of attack.

Go old school…Watch what I eat and work out 3 to 5 times a week. How hard can it be? Like an elephant trying to dance on a tight rope! So how do I put this into practice? I figure I will start small and go from there. I plan on reducing how often I eat out (Wendy’s and McDonald’s I will miss you!), portion control, and increase exercise.

I know there are lots of diets out there, but I don’t want a quick fix I need to start making better lifestyle choices. Choices that will impact me for the rest of my life. Hopefully that will be a looong time from now!

So why do I need to exercise? Well according to an article by Mayo Clinic there are seven great reasons to regular physical activity. To sum up control weight, preventative care, improve your mood, increase energy, better sleep, and who doesn’t want a better sex life!  I know there are tons of reasons out there so for me I am looking at decreasing my chances of diseases and I am always interested in improving my sex life! Have you found a reason to exercise today?

To help keep me honest I need an accountability partner. I recommend getting your friends and family involved because that can motivate you to do more and stick with it. To increase your chances I would also recommend a free website which you can enter your information into including eating and exercise. Many websites also have mobile apps which are helpful because you can keep them with you are you go about your busy day.

This is a daunting task but I know I need it and hopefully my journey will inspire you to make changes in your own life.

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