Parenting: Parent or Friend?
In the picture above are my three amazing kids. My son has a big heart, big mouth and thinks he is incredibly funny! My daughter in the middle is a drama queen, funny, witty, charmer, and scared of so many things and is the baby. My daughter on the end is outspoken, a daredevil, tomboy, aspiring chef, and a little darling.
Over the past five years I have been thrown into the deep-end of parenting and have had triumphs and failures. Along the way I have learned to pick my battles, not take things personally, relax and enjoy the ride!
I have the joy of being a parent! This is a blessing that I have waited along time for. Unfortunately I only get to be a part-time parent. This definitely has its struggles. I have had to learn that I do not control what goes on outside of home. This is a very difficult lesson to learn and many parents do not have to experience til much later in the parenting process. I have learned to enjoy the kids when we have them, work to be a good example and instill the kids with skills and knowledge that they will use the rest of their lives. I also have learned that no matter what happens good, bad or other wise I am there so they can talk to me and we can work to solve problems and find solutions.
One of my statements to the kids and a reminder to myself “I realize that at some point you will hate me. I am ok with that. I will still be therefore you. However, it is not my job to be your friend but be your parent!
What is my job as a parent???
– To teach you skills you will use in life
– To set boundaries
– To make you accountable
– To follow through with consequences when you break the rules
– To listen
– To be an example
– Spend time one on one
– To Love You No Matter What You Do!
My job is not to be your friend. Kids will have friends that they will tell their secrets to, talk about boys, sex, fashion, and all that other stuff! Gossip, giggle, and cry with.
A friend is there to listen and to encourage. Unfortunately when we are younger we tend to encourage to the point of stupidity. As kids we have a different perspective, and we make mistakes. That’s what you are supposed to do! However, as a parent it is my job to encourage but also be there to help pick up the pieces when friends let them down and their world seems to be in ruble at their feet.
I am constantly learning that parenting has its ups and its downs. But I have to remember that being a friend is like being on a roller coaster ride and being a parent is being stable in the midst of chaos.